Scattered Flurries

I was a little surprised when I looked at this list that I actually read LESS this year than most recent years. I’m guessing it’s the subtraction of a commute? But it’s still one every two weeks – or “fortnight”, if you will – and I’m pretty sure that’s more than most people read. And that’s why I feel my glasses-and-beard combo are still justified. So, without further ado:

1. Horror Stories: a memoir, Liz Phair
2. The Revisionaries, A.R. Moxon
3. Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland, Patrick Radden Keefe
4. Famous Men Who Never Lived, K Chess
5. The Calculating Stars, Mary Robinette Kowal
6. Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel
7. Hocus Pocus, Kurt Vonnegut
8. A Fiery Soul: The Life and Theatrical Times of John Hirsch, Fraidie Martz and Andrew Wilson
9. Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, Barack Obama
10. The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt
11. Seasonal Associate, Heike Geissler (translated by Katy Derbyshire)
12. The Flintstones (Volumes 1 & 2), Mark Russell & Steve Pugh
13. Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You’ll Never Hear, Carl Hiassen
14. The 158-Pound Marriage, John Irving
15. Trick Mirror: reflections on self-delusion, Jia Tolentino
16. Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: a true (as told to me) story, Bess Kalb
17. Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles, Mark Russell & Mike Feehan
18. 88 Names, Matt Ruff
19. Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi
20. Ball Four: The Final Pitch, Jim Bouton
21. The Yellow House, Sarah M. Broom
22. The End of Your Life Book Club, Will Schwalbe
23. Mean Boy, Lynn Coady
24. The Twenty-Seventh City, Jonathan Franzen
25. The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff
26. Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures, Vincent Lam

It’s pretty tempting not to do an entry for 2020. Especially since I do these posts after the fact, so they’re usually me reviewing my calendar and social media to find “the big events”… and this year basically didn’t have those. But I did live it, and SOME interesting things did happen. So I guess I’ll do a bit of an overview, then my standard month-by-month breakdown. Though this year will have a heavier emphasis on posts I made, even if no one else liked ’em… because it was a year when even having a thought I liked seemed like a monumental accomplishment!

Socially, no duh, it was a pretty light year. But there were some routines that developed that were key to my mental survival. As someone living alone, I was allowed to bubble with another household, which naturally ended up being my parents (and Marty.) So every now and then, I would go and stay there for awhile. And we also talked daily, often after Jeopardy, so we could see which of us got Final Jeopardy right.

I also had two weekly standing ‘watch’ appointments. One was Bachelor/Bachelorette with Jenny and Lindsay (and occasionally Tom.) They were Messenger chats, but I’m pretty sure I could hear their voices… and of course, it was the only thing that made those shows tolerable. (And even then, just barely.) There was also a Thursday Night Movie Night with Robin, Ian, and Jason, which by the end had screens synced up (thanks, Robin!) and Google Meet for our running commentaries, which were, of course, the point.

Besides that, there were the random calls, which were in some ways harder because there was less to say. And basically monthly Google Meet meet-ups with my high school friends. I also got to know my housemates a little, which was nice (and silly not to have happened earlier); hopefully, more backyard hangouts in the After Times.

As for things I learned, well, I don’t want to call this pandemic any kind of learning opportunity. But I did learn a few things. One of them was Python, and I got pretty good for a beginner… but then I completely got out of the habit of doing it. That said, I liked it, and expect if I try to learn it AGAIN, it’ll go faster and further. As for food preparation, I wouldn’t say I LEARNED to cook… but I kind of did. I certainly did a lot more of it, and now use the inside of the oven, not just the burners! Plus, I’ve got a tuna casserole that I would actually serve to other people (in a pinch), and thanks to my parents and Chef’s Plate, I know that I can follow simple recipes.

And work… still work. Mind you, WFH has been great and actually a better process for all involved… so I’m certain it’ll be ended as soon as safely possible, if not before. Given that I was almost forced to return several times in early- and mid-pandemic, this seems like a safe assumption. But that’s 2021’s problem…

ANYHOO… let’s get to it, shall we?

January:

The first event in my calendar for the year seems to be a night at Mom’s Basement (the bar, not my mom’s basement.) That sounds right. It would have been with Ian, Jason, and Robin, I assume? It’s a night out over a year ago, and those all seem very far away.

I have brunch with Jess at the 3 Speed. If memory serves, she was living right, so we didn’t drink… and I ended up messing myself up thoroughly by having more coffee (not decaf) than I have in decades. Moral: stick to drinking.

Then near the end of the month, PK and Seiler have their going-away party, and I want to go but don’t, because I’m not great with parties. Oh, if I knew then what I know now! Well, actually, I still might have felt the same, but I’d feel even worse for not sucking it up.

I get a raise at work. So I’m less underpaid.

February:

Pete and I have plans to see Parasite. But because of work, he had to stand me up. Since I already had the tickets, I went on my own. And it was pretty great… especially in retrospect, since I didn’t pass up the chance to see a movie in a theater. Also, since it was at the Varsity, I used the opportunity to pool several of the Indigo gift cards I’ve accumulated over the years and pick up a nice bound version of The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy.” So if I ever need to be sworn in for something, I’ve got that.

I go see ‘Nour Hadidi and friends’ at Comedy Bar (in the cabaret space.) One of those friends is Mark Little. They’re funny… as were the other friends, of course. Should I have done standup in the Before Times? Hard to say… but really think I should in the After Times.

Speaking of Before Times, I go to the theater (!) with Mom. We see Caroline, or Change. Quite good… though it may have fallen short of expectations, as the last Tony Kushner I’d seen was Angels in America on Broadway. (Is that a brag?!)

With negotiations having started in January, my group of McGill friends decides that we’ll have our twenty-year reunion on August 1st. Ha ha, suckers!

We make a trip to see Jen do standup at Tallboys. Good times, as she’s clearly impressive… but this is also part of my ramping up to trying it again that of course didn’t happen. Still, a room I’d want to return to.

I go see the Second City revue. I enjoyed it, and though my performing friends might be dwindling in number, the ones I have still plugging away are good. I don’t realize it at the time, but it would be the last time I’d be in that theater, which has since been destroyed. While it wasn’t my most important stage, I did have some memorable moments there (auditions especially), and it did always make me feel connected to something bigger when I strode upon it. (I can’t remember any sets in particular… but I must have got SOME laughs up there!)

The high school gang gets together for a dinner at Patois. PROBABLY my last group excursion to a restaurant for the year?

The next day, I go skating for the first time in forever. I am bad, as muscles I used to have don’t seem to exist anymore. Also, my skates are in desperate need of sharpening. I choose to believe I could get it back, with time.

There’s a jam with Boris Mortz. (That’s me, Evan, Peter, Jamie, and this time, Ariel.) Always fun to jam!

And I go see Jason do standup at Hirut Hoot. Part of my ‘building courage’ tour. He’s good, and I have Ethiopian food again for the first time in years. That’s also good.

March:

I get an email from a high school teacher in Richmond Hill. Turns out there’s going to be yet another production of Courting! Though of course it gets cancelled, so that’s a way the pandemic cost me money?

I go with Larry to see Knives Out. It was great… and the last movie I would see in theaters for the year.

Sketchfest happens. Right around the time we all realize our world’s going to be shutting down for awhile. But the festival basically makes it through intact (I think American troupes scheduled for the end didn’t make it), and I saw some good stuff:

• Mark & Andy
• Lusty Mannequins
• Whisky Kids / Beggar’s Canyon
• Anders Yates / Jon Blair
• Erica Gellert / Girl Brain
• Peter ‘N Chris
• Cam Wyllie / Jordan Armstrong
• Not Oasis / Sex T-Rex
• Flying Solo
• Dead Parents Society
• The Weight of It All (Gillian Bartolucci)

Food Trucks has a jam. We rock. Do YOU like Food Trucks?

…and now, we enter the panic times.

So at this point, not being able to travel or see people, but wanting to maintain some sense of normalcy, I walk to the beach.

Art! Well, that’s done… back to Twitter!

Okay, this isn’t REALLY a digression from Twitter… but it’s at least a fun Twitter thing that’ll definitely be one of the few 2020 things I look back on fondly. Ian and Jen start the Quarantine Frasier account… and they let me contribute title cards! Here’s my first… and then some more:

A safe place for my ridiculous voice. But that didn’t stop me from posting silliness on my personal accounts.

April:

There was a virtual seder in here… but just for shits and giggles, let’s do this month entirely in social media.

PHEW! That was exhausting!

May:

But let’s run it back anyway!

I get this is an odd way to do a blog. Blame 2020!

June:

Okay, I’ll try to mix in some actual happenings now with this heavy blend of social media. But it’s slim pickings. For instance, on the 7th, Jo officially pulls the plug on our McGill reunion. It’s funny looking back to think we waited this long, but at the time, no one knew how long this pandemic was going to last. Also, in what’s an interesting bit of trivia (that I’m taking Jo’s word on), this was twenty years to the day from our actual graduation ceremony! Yikes!

Anyway, here’s some more social media, reflecting the events of the time.

So not to make too hard a tonal switch, but June 23rd was an interesting day for me in two ways. First, Larry brought me what may have been my last Gandhi roti. It’s still a little unclear if what’s happening there is really no more than a name change… but I don’t need an excuse to enjoy a chicken tikka masala roti!

And the other thing? Well, I never miss the opportunity to share when a hero retweets me! And though this may not TECHNICALLY be a retweet of ME, I’m counting it!

If I had a Firefly wallet (and I really should), I would print this up and carry it around with me always. Thank you, Liz!

Okay, quick return to politics…

Then, on the 26th, the Hershfields do something that’s been approved of but still makes me a little nervous: the socially distanced visit/picnic. I probably worry too much about handwashing.. and opt for playing with the dog over eating pizza, since it didn’t seem like I could really do both. But it’s nice to all be together again. (And they came to me, so I could do it as a lunch break!)

Then on the 29th, a dental appointment. Which I mostly mention because I refused to take a rideshare or the TTC… so I walked from Leslieville to Yonge and St. Clair for the appointment, and then from there to my folks’ place. Proving that I can still walk long distances when I have to! (Not sure this is a “skill”… but it’s a thing?)

July:

No longer able to explore Toronto in the social way, e.g. bars and restaurants, I look for the occasional nature excursion. One that I read about that sounded nice was Glen Stewart Park/Ravine, a nice little oasis from the urban jungle that also happens to be a reasonable distance from me. Though it would have been nice to share with someone (what are you going to do?), I enjoyed it fine. I also took a bunch of pictures, but I figure one will probably suffice.

With the pandemic being at a seemingly low ebb, we do a few more family picnics, and I pick up a library book or two. Basically, my policy is not to go inside any buildings but my apartment. So the library’s switch to curbside pickup for holds allows me to do that. (And as for groceries, I’ve been ordering them and having them brought to the parking lot since April.) But my policy of not having anyone into my apartment has to end because my bedroom ceiling develops a major leak.

Thankfully, it wasn’t over my bed. But it was in my closet, so it was a major pain waiting a few weeks for it to be fixed. But all’s well that ends well? Anyway…

Though I don’t really get into the whole Zoom show thing (they are barely a bandaid), I do catch a few decent ones. I see Rosebud Baker do standup (workshopping new material, but I enjoyed). And I watch the Happy Endings reunion, and once again miss that show. In anticipation of games to come, and bored, I order actual proper tennis shoes online (thanks, Merchant of Tennis!), and the month ends with a socially distanced BBQ at Robin’s. It ALMOST feels normal!

August:

I, along with thousands of other Canadians, submit to the Netflix Virtual Pitch. I’ll spare you the suspense: it goes nowhere (for me.) But good to be in the game?

I put in a big order at Rorshach Brewery, so we’ll have fancy beers for the cottage. (They have a pickup window, so my ‘not indoors’ rule, which I otherwise only broke to pick up fancy cupcakes one time, is intact.) I decide to take a winding path… and “discover” Maple Leaf Forever Park, a hidden little treasure of the neighborhood.

Then to my parents’ and from there, to the cottage. Not to keep harping on it, but the first buildings I’ve been inside (other than the one I live in) since March. And with people I can hug, no less! Good times at the cottage, of course: meals, tennis, swimming, etc. Here’s one tweet I made when Kamala Harris got her nomination… and one picture that I won’t explain, because MAYBE it’ll make sense somewhere down the line. (Though you might also figure out the visual pun all on your own…)

September:

I join the Green Party to support Dr. Courtney Howard’s campaign. Though she didn’t end up winning the nomination, IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THAT, AND I’M GLAD I DID IT, ‘KAY??

So I’m going to let a screencap of the announcement post do the heavy lifting here… but this will turn out to be, with any luck, a significant turning point in my writing career. So take note!

Spoiler alert for the 2021 post: I wrote it! That of course may end up being the end of the story… but as I write this, I have a completed first draft. So thanks, Daniela, and thanks, me!

I use a BikeShare and make it to my parents. I am endlessly impressed with myself… but not really, because parts that shouldn’t have nearly killed me. I choose to think it’s pandemic atrophy. I also drop off the bike at around Bathurst and Davenport, because that giant hill wasn’t happening. But it’s a nice walk from there, through Wychwood Park!

And towards the end of the month, I play tennis with Mark Little for the first time, at Jimmie Simpson Park. I just want to rally, but he’s inclined to play a game. So we do, and it definitely works out better for him. Then I watch him play some basketball with Matt and Erin (I’m a little more cautious and also exhausted), then we all have a socially distanced visit. Good times.

And last but not least, my baby bro turns 40! I help Larry make a little movie for him, and it’s very sweet. Anyway, hopefully a family trip to celebrate in the After Times.

October:

I play tennis with Mark for a second time. And we agree to meet in Ramsden Park, as that’s much closer to the halfway point between us. I’m a little worried the walk will wear me out before we even start… but as it turns out, we have a long wait. And whether it’s that, or the cooler weather, I have a lot more energy, and it ends up being the most evenly matched game of tennis I’ve ever played. Mark took it 7-6 (5) in an ACTUAL TIEBREAKER… so that was fun. Sadly, the unseasonably warm weather dissipates and that’s it for the year. But bodes well for the After Times!

Okay, now I’m going to show you a picture of a flower. But it’s only because it’s one I saw during one of my visits to the Leslie Street Spit, and days before, the film group had watched Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the Donald Sutherland one)… and I’m pretty sure this was the same flower.

This next picture was sent to me; I wasn’t there for it. But it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and my current desktop wallpaper.

Food Trucks tries to do a long-distance jam (well, I’M distanced). It’s a bit of a gong show. But hey, worth the effort, and the reunion will be all that much the sweeter.

November:

So… a little history was happening… (and though I didn’t talk about it here, obviously the plague that was Trump and Trumpism cast a heavy shadow over this year, and the ones before, and it’s not entirely gone… but this week was good.)

And I apparently was relieved enough to also post this on the 7th.

This may not seem worthy of mentioning… but it was a big thing for me. I order pickup for the first time in basically the whole year! It’s from Billy’s Burgers (which has a pickup window, so rule intact!), and it’s delicious! Also, in addition to my burger, I get a poutine, and that’s the life I’m supposed to be living, damn it!

And other things that happened that month: I took in a Zoom talk by Raphael Bob-Waksberg (back in the twenty-teens, he was the writer of a very famous teeeeee-vee show), I did a reading for someone’s screenplay (not sure how much I can say here?), and I saw this:

December:

So I know this is bad to admit… but for some reason, I never mentally associate Cherry Street with Cherry Beach. So the day I went for a long walk, hit Cherry Street, and half-thought “I guess I’ll go south”, it pretty much didn’t occur to me that I was heading for Cherry Beach until I reached it. So that was lovely! And as a complete bonus, I checked my phone/map to look for an alternate route to get home… and discovered there’s a walking trail that takes you right to the foot of Leslie! Something to look forward to in months/years to come.

That was on a Sunday. And then the next day was Burrito Monday! And then the next day, more hope!

Then…

But that ends up not being the case. Someone at work gets the coronavirus (she’s fine now), so we basically shut down operations for the year. And though I still have to work, with hours more flexible, I decide to move to my parents’ for the very end of Hannukah, and am there until the end of the year.

Which, sadly, is why I’m not exactly there for this:

But there in spirit (and yes, in picture.) And funnily enough, the next day, I actually DO see a friend in person: I bump into Judy while walking Marty with Larry in High Park. No hug, because of the times… but so funny to have a bump-into in these times.

So… the holidays…

And as for New Year’s Eve, the Hershfields ended up watching Dwayne Gretzky’s livestream… for all FIVE HOURS, UNTIL 3 A.M. So don’t say we didn’t party in 2020!

Actually, you can.

Okay, one last picture of Marty for the road…

And the likely highlight of the year (that’s also being put here because I can’t entirely remember when it happened):

Year. Done.

This year brought a long commute, which I was not (and am not) a fan of, but I will say, it did allow for some quality reading time. And of course, even time I wasn’t killing was sometimes spent reading, because, well, yay books!

Without further ado, here’s what I consumed (in order) in 2019:

1. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
2. Calypso, David Sedaris
3. Becoming, Michelle Obama
4. The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas
5. The Circuit: A Tennis Odyssey, Rowan Ricardo Phillips
6. The Drunkard’s Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives, Leonard Mlodinow
7. The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid: A Memoir, Bill Bryson
8. The Comic Hero’s Journey, Steve Kaplan
9. The Sopranos Sessions, Matt Zoller Seitz & Alan Sepinwall
10. The Personality Brokers: The Strange History of Myers-Briggs and the Birth of Personality Testing, Merve Emre
11. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed, Lori Gottlieb
12. The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times To Live, Heather B. Armstrong
13. Gingerbread, Helen Oyeyemi
14. Normal People, Sally Rooney
15. Charlie Savage, Roddy Doyle
16. I Love You, Nice To Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up, Lori Gottlieb and Kevin Bleyer
17. Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory: Stories, Raphael Bob-Waksberg
18. Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide, Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark
19. Mrs. Everything, Jennifer Weiner
20. I Miss You When I Blink: Essays, Mary Laura Philpott
21. Veronica Mars: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham
22. Educated, Tara Westover
23. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, Gail Honeyman
24. The Queen: The Forgotten Life Behind an American Myth, Josh Levin
25. Veronica Mars: Mr. Kiss and Tell, Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham
26. Three Women, Lisa Taddeo
27. The Friend, Sigrid Nunez
28. Fleishman is in Trouble, Taffy Brodesser-Akner
29. Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, David Epstein
30. Nice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results, Josh Gondelman
31. Had It Coming: What’s Fair in the Age of #MeToo?, Robyn Doolittle
32. Batman: The Long Halloween, Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale
33. Wanderers, Chuck Wendig
34. Semicolon: The Past, Present, and Future of a Misunderstood Mark, Cecelia Watson
35. Spider-Man: Life Story, Chip Zdarsky & Mark Bagley
36. Patsy, Nicole Dennis-Benn
37. It’s Garry Shandling’s Book, edited by Judd Apatow
38. Wild and Crazy Guys: How the Comedy Mavericks of the ‘80s Changed Hollywood Forever, Nick de Semlyen

I’m not going to lie (particularly since I’m not sure anyone but me reads this): 2019 was not a great year for me. I feel like I spent much of it in a light-to-heavy funk. Partly because the world is burning, and the likelihood that my life will now end in some kind of camp seems to have gone up considerably. But on a more micro-level, several changes at work also combined to drain joy.

The move across the city added two hours of transit to my days, and the fact we moved from downtown to an industrial park upped the bleakness. Also, my best work friend went away, and the writing staff was reduced from three to two, meaning each day is a slog just to get through. Lastly, my fantasy that new owners would mean the obvious impediment(s) to improvement would be addressed proved idealistic; and while it’s nice I still have that muscle, it’s now bruised.

Long story short, I spent a lot of the year feeling tired. And so, it feels like there’s more I could’ve done.

That said, I still have many blessings, and I want to remind myself (and anyone else who might be reading) that not all of them will be recorded here. My weekly rituals include a family dinner on Sunday nights and basketball on Wednesday nights, and both bring me great comfort. Movie nights at Robin’s continue to happen with regularity, making me feel like I’ve got a “crew”, Food Trucks got together enough to make me feel I’ve got a “band”… and hey, bimonthly blood donation makes me feel like I’m putting good into the world.

But of course, the name of this game is highlights. So here are a few.

January:

I feel like this first post of the year anticipated what was to come pretty well!

I joke, of course… but honestly, this Mensa calendar was a really great thing for me. (Thanks, Renee!) Even if it was just for five minutes a day, I got to feel smart… and that’s a good thing.

Evan and I go to see ‘A Kevin McDonald with an Evening’ at the Rivoli. He remains one of the most naturally funny people ever (Kevin, not Evan, who’s just okay), and he’s certainly got stories to tell. (The Shrink 2020!) And Bruce McCulloch opened for him, allowing me to make this post:

Huzzah for technicalities!

Okay, this is just a POSSIBLE preview of things to come. I still haven’t really decided. But I do make this joke, which I like:

A standup joke, perhaps?

Later that month, Evan and Jen take the family to see The Play That Goes Wrong. I think the moral is that when I tell people I don’t like farce, they should believe me and not argue that the one they have in mind is different. Still, a nice thing… and I did like the farce episode of Party Down, so I guess there is at least ONE exception!

And finally, a post no one much cared for, but I still feel there’s something there, and since it will continue to come up…

February:

I take part in a genetic research study, where for a full day, every three hours I have blood drawn and have an MRI. I think I mostly did it for the experience and the story (even though the previous sentence is basically the story)… and the money helped.

Pete takes me to a DGC event where I learn all about Star Trek: Discovery. Neat!

Two tweets, one in which I get excited about something that turns out not to be a big deal, and one which I think is funny, regardless of its reception!

And later in the month, the Oscars. I believe I tied with Mom in the family pool and won the pool at work. I *work* in the industry! (I don’t really. It’s just a fun thing to say.)

March:

Puns meet politics!

And since the world isn’t making me any less cynical…

After years of us all chanting it and only me having seen it, I invite a group of friends over to watch Barton Fink! (Simpsons’ fans will understand the chanting.) The movie is not the biggest hit (and as a writer, Ian may have felt a little targeted), but the night is a delight.

I play squash with Hillary, then a few days later with Evan. They’re my first squash games in forever. As I write this, I realize I wanted to play more, then didn’t. But hopefully I will!

A pretty low-key birthday. I assume, because I can’t actually remember. I guess it’s an important one in the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sense?

April:

After months of making us wait, Toronto Pho opens around the corner from work. A very welcome addition… though this decorating choice evokes a dark laugh on the inside every time I see it…

I lose at March Madness once again, this time to a four-year-old. Which would be embarrassing enough, but he also beat us all when he was two.

I take this picture to commemorate the time I passed muster. (Yes, me dumb!)

I see Go on the big screen, possibly for the first time. Twentieth anniversary, so I guess I’m old?

I also see Jen do standup (for what I think was her first non-class show) at Dawn Patrol. Though I’m a little intimidated by how good she is right out of the gate, I start wondering if it’s something I should try. At this point, I’m still wondering… but I’ve also started compiling and organizing, so it’s more than speculation. Guess we’ll see what happens in next year’s post!

Passover happens. Details are lost to memory and lazy research, but this is kind of funny, right?

After years of having insurance and basically only using it for dental, I have an optometrist appointment. (This’ll pay off later. Kind of.)

And then late in the month, a bunch of nerds go to see Avengers: Endgame. I liked it… and them!

The Hershfield men catch Buddy Guy at Roy Thomson Hall. If anyone ever assumes based on the name that he’s a made-up blues man, well, now we can confidently say he exists!

Tim Burns is nice enough to meet for lunch and talk ‘the biz.’ Though my momentum feels largely stalled on that front, it’s always good to stoke the coals.

May:

At long last, a mini-vacation. Evan and I spend a long weekend in Halifax/Dartmouth to celebrate Brad’s birthday. I don’t know what I would do if I moved there… but I can see the appeal. Anyway, here are a few pictures, one for the Archer fans and one for the medium-old-school SNL fans. (And yes, the party had a theme.)

Loose cannons! Also the party was at the Mic Mac AAC, which I mention mostly because it’s a very specific regional reference I will have to drop at some point.

Later, in the month, I go from visitor to host. First, there’s a McGill reunion when Sam Sewall swings through (always a good time). A few days later, Dave is in town, and I show off some Leslieville, including the Saulter Street Brewery and the Broadview Hotel rooftop bar. Classy!

Game of Thrones ends. I could rant some, but I’ll leave it at this:

Then Larry’s 70^th. Because Grandma is in poor health, the big party is cancelled… but we will not deny ourselves schnitzel! Also we realize that since the price of a wiener schnitzel has been creeping up, the cost of a wooden platter for two is actually a little less than the cost of two schnitzels. I think you know where this is going…

June:

Ian (the one from work) has his annual BBQ. Since the move, we rarely all hang out, so it’s a nice little refresher.

Having renewed my friendship with the lovely Jenny earlier in the year, I am invited to watch The Bachelorette with Tom, Lindsay, and her. Though I will have to repress my natural instinct to eeyore, it is fairly habit-forming, and a nice new ritual. (I mean, I check in and out, because you easily can until the end… but still, I am forever invested in Hannah and forever headshaking at Luke P.!)

Moving on…

Ian invites me to see Ghostbusters in Concert, with a ticket Jason couldn’t use. (Thanks to both!) We meet up for drinks beforehand, and I arrive first, which is when this happens.

But to be clear, the highlight is this:

Social media continues to be good and bad. But it does seem like I have some feelings about it…

Anyway, within a week of that, THE RAPTORS WIN IT ALL! I haven’t mentioned it, but obviously, I watch A LOT of basketball in the months leading up to this, and it’s all pretty glorious. My personal highlight from this all happens in December (Stay tuned!), but for now, I’ll just say this:

Huzzah!

Also cause for celebration: Jason and I follow through on our plan for an East Toronto Brew Pub Crawl! I helped quite a bit, but most of the credit goes to him. With ESPECIAL credit for commissioning this incredible map/itinerary!

There’s actually a version with times on it and everything, but since that one includes his home address (where we had a Mortal Kombat tourney after breakfast and beers at Louis Cifer), this is the map I’m sharing. A very intoxicating day, and thanks to flights, dozens of beers are sampled! (Though I haven’t been back since, Rorshach blew my mind.)

Okay. Putting in a transition sentence between paragraphs, because sadly, near the end of the month…

My Grandma Vera passes away. At age 96, and following several years of mental decline, so very mixed feelings. Still, never easy to lose someone who you love and who loved you. She’s also my last grandparent, and while it’s crazy that I had one into my forties, I can’t help but realize the next losses will come from the next generation… and that’s very bracing. At any rate, I am reminded of her constantly, not just by our similarities, but by a little shrine to my life I have in my bedroom.

That’s my intramural hockey sweater (Go, Rez Dogs!), a bra that was a cast gift from the first play I directed, and a sweater my grandma knitted me. Though I’ve got some good years ahead of me, knock on wood, it reminds me I’ve had a life, and there’s been some love in it.

July:

I see James live in concert. For some reason, it’s not as exuberant an experience as I was hoping for, but I do love that band and they’ve still got serious chops. Also, Sean is there with his daughter, and it’s her first concert, so that’s a pretty cool moment. That said, when the choice was between a ride or seeing the Psychedelic Furs finish their set, I pick the ride. So make of that what you will. At any rate…  James!

For her birthday (though not ON her birthday), Evan, Jen and I take Mom to the Science Centre to watch Superpower Dogs on IMAX. Though I do find myself distracted thinking about someone who used to work there, I focus enough to get reinforcement on our family’s wise decision to be dog people!

Fringe happens. I hope I saw more plays than I can remember (the years blend together!), but I know I saw the Lauras, because I remember thinking that was funny. Specifically, I saw Laura Anne Harris in Destiny, USA, and Laura Bailey in Clitoria. Both very good, and reminders of my fringe theatre glory!

Though I am not technically in a show, I DO get a black eye at basketball around then, and get to spend a few days pretending I’m in Fight Club.

Around that time, a visit from Becky! This was a long time coming, as we haven’t seen each other in YEARS, since my last visit to New York. (Where she no longer lives.) Though bad weather takes some of the shine off things, I drag her all over the city, and we talk and drink a bunch. She’s someone I’m very glad to know, and I am already looking forward to our next reunion. (Hopefully in America, though I’m waiting for sanity to be restored.)

The day after my Becky day, I see the new Second City revue Walking on Bombshells and hang out post-show with my buddy Chris and old showmate Stacey. The day after that, drinks with Jess. The day after that, I see Into the Spiderverse with Ian. The day after that, basketball. The day after that, a movie night at Robin’s, where I believe we watched Trading Places.

I mention all this because I think that’s about as social a stretch as an introvert like me can manage! Kudos to all involved for being people I can spend time with!

One last thing for July. The family went to Sunset Grill in the Beaches (yes, plural, rebranding exercise be damned!), as we’re wont to do, and I noticed something interesting about the omelette prices. I’ll give you a second to see if you can spot it on your own.

Give up? (Or “Get it?” I don’t want to presume you didn’t.) The vast majority of omelettes are cheaper if you “create your own”. The Green Omelette by a full two dollars! So I guess the question is, how much is it worth to you not to be “that guy”? In my case, the Sunset Omelette, it was worth the fifty cents.

Okay, I lied. One more thing for July, just because I made myself laugh:

August:

A reunion a LONG time in the making! Over a decade! Joanna comes to town, and I am reminded of the wonder that is old friends: so much changes, so much remains the same! As an aside, it may be my lack of kids AND moisturizer, but I always feel like I’ve aged the least personally and the most physically. For the latter, judge for yourself.

I manage to get onto another downtown rooftop for some cool people drinking. At least once a summer, whether I want to or not. And I almost always do!

Of course, days later, our parent company has us over for drinks and some BBQ on THEIR rooftop. Mind you, we’re basically their hillbilly cousins from the sticks, welcome only because our women are hot. Or maybe that’s just my take. Regardless, I live up to that understanding by stuffing my face then running off early. (It was a basketball night!)

Anyway, here’s an August post I quite liked. (I’m also sharing it because the hilarious Josh Gondelman just made a similar joke on Twitter, and while it’s parallel thinking, I want it on the record that I thought this thought first, so I can maybe use it in standup. That’s how this works, right?)

Then it was cottage time. Back to the Armstrongs again, and a good, laid-back, light-on-guests time had by all.

One funny thing: I burned a pair of pants. Intentionally. When I was getting my wedding suit, Evan’s friend Matt gifted me a fancy dress shirt, on the condition I burn the pants from my original suit. (The fit offended him.) In what is either a touch of karma or a touch of irony, the pants from my NEW suit have gone missing. Which is bizarre. Hopefully, they’ll turn up, but either way, I watched my ‘pants on fire’, and I ain’t lying!

Then back to work. I won’t say the effect of the cottage wore off too quickly… but this was a thought I had within a week of my return to civilization:

Johnny and Marla have a wedding dinner. Everything is very tasty, though I would expect no less. I’ll mostly remember duck being chopped up next to our table. How’ve I gone this long without experiencing this?

I apply for the Saturday Night Live ticket lottery again. As of now, it still hasn’t happened. But I guess I’ll keep doing it until it does, because that feels like how life works, right?

Also, I think I should go, because I saw a Kids in the Hall taping, so this would round out my comedy name-dropping possibilities. Plus, I keep having funny thoughts like this!

And on the last night of August, Kat and I take in an outdoors screening of Back to the Future. Because it’s there!

September:

Another September, another TIFF! Though, despite the exclamation point, I didn’t see much. And while I liked what I saw – David Copperfield and How to Build a Girl – I wasn’t really feeling it this year. But hey, it’s a blog, so here are pictures showing how close I got to famous people:

Around then, Tom and Lindsay have something of a housewarming. They live around the corner from the folks’, so it makes me extra-happy, and I hope to visit that backyard and fireplace for years to come.

Another September 8^th, another iteration of this post! Okay, there seem to be diminishing returns from the audience, but it still makes me smile and it marks a real anniversary, so what the hell. See you again next year, post!

Also that day, the family heads down to Stratford to see Henry VIII. It was my idea to see a lesser work, and, well, it was lesser. But a noble venture, says I!

Through the series of tubes that is the internet, my McGill Twenty Year Reunion planning starts. So far, it’s looking like August may be the choice of champions. We shall see… but something to look forward to!

On the 19^th, I have…  Jury Duty! I’m ambivalent about whether I want to be on a jury, but it turns out to be a moot point. Eventually. First, we’re directed to go directly to a courtroom, my first time making it that far; previously, I just made it to the holding room. While we wait, the bailiff tells us that it’s the biggest courtroom in Ontario and that the trial we’re being panelled for is expected to last at least six weeks. (I could be getting that wrong. I mostly remember the gasp!) Then the judge comes in, and after thanking us and noting that serving on a jury is a sacred duty, he explains that due to some procedural things and timing issues, there’s another panel scheduled for closer to the trial date that no longer has a case attached to it. So we’re all free to go! (Oh, the relief in that room!) Best of all, the whole thing took two-and-a-half hours, almost exactly the time to not make it worth going in to work!

That is also the first day of JFL 42. And me, Evan, and Jen went at the festival with gusto. Of course, the credit system makes it basically All You Can See, so we did. Here’s who I saw, in the order I saw them:

• Roy Wood Jr.
• Threedom (Paul F. Tompkins, Lauren Lapkus, Scott Aukerman)
• Esther Povitsky
• Todd Barry
• Ronny Chieng
• John Mulaney and Pete Davidson
• Jen Kirkman
• Sam Morril
• Kate Berlant
• Ron Funches
• Michelle Wolf
• Jay Pharoah (w. A.J. Foster)
• Graham Kay
• Jon Dore
• Dan Soder
• Jim Norton
• Cristela Alonzo
• Andy Kindler & The Alternative Show (Dave Merheje, DeAnne Smith, Nour Hadidi, Tom Henry, and Mark Forward)

Pretty crazy lineup, right? Mind you, seeing that much, there was a lot of “appreciating this is funny” rather than “laughing”… but hey, comedy is a hobby/business of mine too, so that’s still well worth it. Also, my baby stepping towards standup gets a little more of a nudge, and I do some valuable homework.

Here’s a picture:

Finally, a Pharoah who likes the Jews!

My McGill reunion streak continues with a visit by Rachel. Granted, it had only been a few years since I’d seen her, but hey, it’s always special. Here’s a picture, showing that my selfie game has marginally improved. If nothing else, my arms are long.

On the 28^th, I attend the  Make ‘em Laugh for 90 Minutes workshop. So now I HAVE to write a screenplay. I just HAVE to!

The next day, we go for Chinese as a family, and I get this fortune which makes me laugh.

Thanks for the future tense, fortune cookie!

Then Rosh Hashanah, which falls on Evan’s birthday. He celebrates by not coming. Da jarit!

October:

Another big concert: Thrush Hermit! It involved some stress, because I got two tickets months before, confident that I knew people who’d be into it. Only to find out it’s a little more niche than I assumed. But Greenstein steps up, and we enjoy some fine tunes!

Then later that month, I’m the one (well, one of the ones) making sweet music. Yes, after years of threatening it and thinking about it, I make it out to a Choir! Choir! Choir! (For those not in the know, this is an ongoing event where a bunch of people congregate and become a choir for a night, learning a song and performing it as a group.) What may have prompted me to finally go was having someone to go with (thanks, Jenny!), but also, it was the fiftieth anniversary of Abbey Road, so they did Something. How could I miss that?

A few days later, on Twitter, I make what I believe is called a ‘witty rejoinder.’ It draws valued praise.

Continuing my string of firsts, I finally make it out to one of the Christie Pits basketball games. And the people I know didn’t show up, so I’m playing with mostly strangers. But a few familiar faces, and all friendly, and a good time had by all. No Stranger Danger here!

A few days later, a federal election. Though I get a little frustrated with people who don’t seem to know how strategic voting can work (e.g. in a safe riding, you can vote your conscience), it’s the rare election these days that doesn’t end with the worst-case scenario, so I’ll take it. Even though the Hershfields’ attempt to sway the vote through fashion did nothing.

A few days after THAT, I buy a pair of jeans. Which I mention only because it was the most extreme markdown I’ve ever seen. OVER 95%, BABY!

November:

Someone manages to drive through a window at work.

It’s very exciting short-term, pretty inconvenient long-term. It also means I move from open-concept with a window to my own office without one, so a lateral move, I suppose?

Boris Mortz jams for the first time. It’s my bro’s friends, who are more loosey-goosey, less rehearsey than I’m used to. But there are worse ways to spend an evening.

After a day of facial fashion show with Evan and Jen a few weeks earlier, I get new glasses. (It’d been years!) We do the appropriate Simpsons routine ad nauseum. (I probably miss my old glasses…)

Maybe they make me smarter, because I do a take on a Twitter meme that strikes myself as amusing.

I see that Pearl Court is closing, and since it’s supposedly the best Chinese food on the Gerrard Chinatown, and I’m kicking myself for never having gone, I leap into action. Will and I agree dim sum must be had, and we moved to rally some troops. Those troops turn out to be Jason, and the three of us eat a lot of dim sum and basically shut the place down. Better late than never!

And I end the month by directing at the 24 Hour Sketch Fest! It’s my first time doing it as a director, and it’s a ton of fun. Nice to spread some wisdom and help my lovely team bring their gold to the stage. Rihanna-matopeia! (That’s what I named the team , as we had a running Rihanna theme. Alas, we got announced as Rihanna-topia… which is still not bad.)

December:

The office holiday party. Kind of a meh experience for me. I’d much rather have dancing than a casino. But hey, different strokes. And this year, I was one of the very sober people helping the very wrecked people… so in theory, I can get wrecked next year? (I do have an ‘every second year’ streak going.)

So remember when I said my personal connection to the Raptors’ championship would happen in December? Well, my buddy Myles (who also plays basketball with us) is an MLSE exec, so he was able to make this moment happen for me!

To be clear, I didn’t get to keep it. Nor could my scrawny arms handle that much weight on a regular basis. But for a brief shining moment, my ring finger was a champion!

The usual suspects gather to close out the Star Wars series with an opening night screening of Rise of Skywalker. The movie is pretty much hot garbage, in my humble but not too humble opinion… but the company is a delight!

Because of the origins of this blog, I feel I should mention that I interview for the Second City’s new Directing Program… and do not get in.

Anyhoo…

Christmas is a nice event at the house. New Year’s Eve, I use a spare ticket my parents have to see Uncut Gems with them, then just go home and watch Inside Llewyn Davis. Midnight is not noted. Maybe I should have forced myself to go out… but I was happy to just run out the clock, so to speak.

Well, fingers crossed for a more groovy year in 2020, though I’ll settle for survival. And because I don’t want to end on THAT note, I’ll end on this one instead:

Well, for the first time in awhile, this list of books I’ve read represents (I think) a calendar year. I can’t tell whether I should be proud of how much I read without having to make an effort… or embarrassed by how much I don’t get out! Either way, I think I set a personal record for reading books written by people I know, and we can all agree that’s pretty nifty.

In the order I read them:

1. What I Think Happened: An Underresearched History of the Western World, Evany Rosen
2. The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21^st Century, Steven Pinker
3. Tenth of December, George Saunders
4. Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002), David Sedaris
5. The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins
6. We Are Never Meeting In Real Life, Samantha Irby
7. The Unmaking of the President 2016: How FBI Director James Comey Cost Hillary Clinton the Presidency, Lanny J. Davis
8. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better, Monica Heisey
9. The Last Black Unicorn, Tiffany Haddish
10. From Animal House to Our House: A Love Story, Ron Tanner
11. Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders
12. SPARKS, Ian Boothby & Nina Matsumoto
13. Boys Among Men: How the Prep-to-Pro Generation Redefined the NBA and Sparked a Basketball Revolution, Jonathan Abrams
14. Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, the Certainty of Dying, and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer, Barbara Ehrenreich
15. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer, Michelle McNamara
16. Failure Is An Option: An Attempted Memoir, H. Jon Benjamin
17. Like Brothers, Mark Duplass and Jay Duplass
18. How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written, Sterling Archer*
19. Land Mammals and Sea Creatures, Jen Neale
20. Seven Fallen Feathers: Racism, Death, and Hard Truths in a Northern City, Tanya Talaga
21. All the Pieces Matter: The Inside Story of The Wire, Jonathan Abrams
22. Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries, Kory Stamper
23. Just the Funny Parts … And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking into the Hollywood Boys’ Club, Nell Scovell
24. The Men Who Stare at Goats, Jon Ronson
25. How to Fall in Love With Anyone, Mandy Len Catron
26. The Ghost Map: The Story of London’s Most Terrifying Epidemic – and How It Changed Science, Cities, and the Modern World, Steven Johnson
27. Hits & Misses, Simon Rich
28. Sweet Affliction, Anna Leventhal
29. A Field Guide to Lies: Critical Thinking in the Information Age, Daniel J. Levitin
30. Planet Funny: How Comedy Took Over Our Culture, Ken Jennings
31. Property Values, Charles Demers
32. Farsighted: How We Make the Decisions That Matter the Most, Steven Johnson
33. The Kids in the Hall: One Dumb Guy, Paul Myers
34. The Fifth Risk, Michael Lewis
35. I’ll Be There For You: The One about Friends, Kelsey Miller
36. How To Be Alone (If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t), Lane Moore
37. The Library Book, Susan Orlean
38. A Gentleman in Moscow, Amor Towles
39. All the Answers, Michael Kupperman
40. Moon of the Crusted Snow, Waubgeshig Rice

Boy, when I finally get around to making a Goodreads page, it’s going to be a lot of work, and my reviews will be quite arbitrary! But hey, it’s nice to have a record of all this wonderful reading. Read on, my invisible book club!

This ‘posting once a year’ pattern I’ve fallen into is officially odd. I’m fairly certain there are big life events I’m missing, because I now get to the end of the year and try to cobble together what I did using social media and emails. Even though I’m quite certain the best moments in life leave no such trace. Nevertheless, since it is sometimes fun for me (and maybe you) to reread random moments from a year, here they are!

January:

I attend the Next Stage festival for what I think is the first time. Pretty embarrassing for a Fringer, especially given all the people I know who must have done it over the years. Well, consider yourself special, Jason, because Jonno is the one that finally got me out! (And proximity to Gandhi roti was barely a factor.)

Jess and I go for drinks at the Only Bar and Café. This is something we do fairly often (location varies), but this one felt particularly bondy. Or so I recall: it was a year ago, and there was drink involved. All I know is we went back there in October, and one of the times, we also ordered food from Big House Pizza, and it was very good and in my neighborhood, so I have no idea why I haven’t had it since. Time flies?

My on-again, off-again, approach-avoid relationship with improv continues. Matt asks if I want to team up with Ron Sparks, and as we’re all basketball buddies and I like to be asked, I agree. Then it turns out Ron can’t make it and I end up doing the tournament with another wonderful soul, Cameron Wyllie. We quickly establish that we’re going to be the team of two straight dudes who end their scenes by kissing but without making a big deal about it.

• 

• 

We advance to the second round. Naturally.

I see Reid Along with Browning for the first time in forever, and it makes me happy as always. I conquer my social anxiety nerves and go to BeslerMania. My social anxiety nerves win and Seiler and PK skip town without me managing a goodbye. (Though true to my form, I write them a nice note on Facebook.)

And for the first time ever that I can recall, I ask for a raise. I’m told to put it in writing.

February:

I am on the panel for this month’s Comedy Album Book Club, discussing 2000 Years with Cark Reiner and Mel Brooks with Jason, Martha O’Neill, and Sean Browning. Good time had by all, always fun when comedy nerds get together and nerd out. It’s a podcast, so depending on when you see this, you might be able to listen along?

I put my raise request in writing, with much help from my father and Kat Janicki. It takes several people to convince me to write nice things about myself.

The Super Bowl happens. This is where I should write things down. I’m sure I did SOMETHING for it…

Likewise, I know I went to Kama Sutra with my high school friends. Pretty sure it’s an Indian restaurant… but in this case, it’s probably more fun not to look it up.

Basketball night (Wednesday) falls on Valentine’s Day. With a number of cancellations, including several from subs who apparently forgot what day it was when they agreed, those of us who are there end up playing the full two hours 4-on-4. By the usual standards of Valentine’s Day, this one felt really good!

Along those lines, I shortly thereafter enjoyed a night out all by myself. (Well, mostly.) I went to watch Alaine coach at the U of T women’s basketball game, had a brief visit afterwards, then went to watch Black Panther on my own. Noteworthy, because I’m often reticent about going out on my own, but sometimes, when you lean into it, it’s lovely.

Jason and Helena have a party where we’re supposed to bring a dish that means something to us. I decide I’ll bring kasha… and then don’t have the time and also remember that liking kasha is a weird thing. So I bring Descendant Pizza and Radical Road beer, because I like my cool neighborhood. Good enough!

And I guess I remembered about this blog at some point, because I jotted down “Food Trucks: up to thirteen songs.” Don’t look now… but that’s a set!

March:

I have dinner with Laura Bailey, and she tells me about a one-person show she wants to do. It’s of particular note, because she subsequently got into the Toronto Fringe and said show will be happening this summer. Timelines!

Sketchfest comes, and working stiff that I am, I don’t see much. I see Cam Wyllie’s show (how could I not?!?), I see the Lusty Mannequins with Mark & Andy & Dave (a bill that’s pretty much a sure thing), and I go to the Inside The Ladies Writing Room panel (where I am one of about three men with over a hundred women, and I realize that might be as close as I get to experiencing what it’s like to be a woman in a room surrounded by men… but probably better for me, because women are better and privilege generally… anyhooo… )

Around this time, I see the Raptors play the Rockets. It is easily the best game I’ve ever seen live, with James Harden putting on a performance that was practically inhuman, Lowry refusing to lose, and the Raptors earning the win with Harden FINALLY missing on a shot that would’ve sent it to OT. Check it out!

http://www.espn.com/nba/game?gameId=400975725

We have a Movie Night at Robin’s, where we watch Jumanji. I can’t remember if this is our first proper movie night… but it’s become more of a regular thing, so when I’m someday trying to remember how long we’ve been doing it, we can know we started at least this long ago.

Seth’s bar mitzvah. It’s a lovely event, though I’ll mostly remember it for losing a library book and then obsessively trying to find it. (It eventually turned up after I’d lost all hope. Ain’t it always the way?!

I go to the WTTV for The Detail. It’s possible I’m a hobbyist now… or that I’m doing the job, and just don’t feel like I am because it’s a bizarro version of it… but either way, I do enjoy these things on occasion.

Here are some posts I made that I liked… as did a handful of others:

Round 2 of the World’s Biggest Improv Tournament. Cameron and I again do our thing, again we advance. He’s lovely, but my ambivalence about improv remains. I loved it so much for so long, but at this point, it feels like it’s easy to be pretty good and impossible to be great, or at least rare enough that it hardly seems worth it. At the risk of bleakness, maybe it just reminds me of better times I once had? But to be clear, I wasn’t nearly this overwrought at the time; it was just a pleasant night out, with people I enjoy.

So, for the first in a long string of unimportant birthdays, I play basketball (nice synchronicity), then dinner with folks, then out for a beer with Ian.  I slept over at parents and had dinner the next day at La Paella. We had the/la paella.

The seder this year was at Sandra’s. They do blend together, but this one was a little memorable for the  heat being out.

April:

A post that probably deserved better. But discerning people liked it, damn it!

March Madness was actual madness this year. Somehow, despite a very busted bracket, I only lose the office pool by one point… which may actually be worse? Either way, in my old Vancouver pool, Villanova’s win pulls me ahead of Shaun and Allen and also, perhaps most importantly, the bracket picked entirely by coin tosses. Oy!

Round 3 and then Round 4 of the World’s Biggest Improv Tournament. As previously noted, still pretty ambivalent, and doing shows two weeks in a row didn’t help. (Once every couple of months at most for this guy!) Still kind of nice to make the Top 16, remind people who I am, etc.

I make a 4/20 joke some fellow nerds like:

And I get a new cellphone. Which is noteworthy because it’s my first smartphone. At the time, I’m pretty sure I won’t get that into it. And while I’m still not a person who gets “excited” about phones or needs the latest, I admit there are some perks to joining everyone else in this century.

May:

Dave comes for a visit, and I use the opportunity to get the high school crew to come to Leslieville. Post-tennis, we go for donairs and drinks at The Thirsty Duck (feels very Canadian) and then for cocktails at Goods and Provisions. Sophistimicated!

Doors Open happens. Larry and I use the opportunity to check out a few of the movie studios in my neighborhood. Because, hey, the Doors were Open!

I make what may be the greatest joke the world has ever seen:

I go suit shopping for Evan’s wedding. Which is especially notable because it was done in a hotel suite! Yes, I got a custom-made suit. We went, got measurements taken, picked from various swatches of fabric… it was very grown-up and a little Rat Pack.

June:

I have a very nerdy email exchange with my father. I sent him this article about why rich kids are good at the marshmallow test: http://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-test/561779/?utm_source=eb

Then I sent him a website that has a fun (to nerds) visual representation of the birthday paradox: https://pudding.cool/2018/04/birthday-paradox/

Then he sent me this in reply: https://www.nature.com/news/replication-studies-bad-copy-1.10634

I mention all this to establish there are smart (or at least intellectually curious) people in Ontario. This is worth noting, because days after this exchange, Doug Ford becomes Premier. Ontario is officially too stupid to be a province.

In recognition of the fact I’m probably privileged enough to survive this new administration (Doug wil likely never get around to building camps, since that would involve creating something rather than tearing something down), I get a new tennis racket for the first time in a decade. I like it.

Bike Share Toronto offers free rental s on Wednesdays in June. So for a couple of days, I’m a guy who rides a bike rides to work. Mind you, I got to boot down to the path that runs along and under the Gardiner, so I wasn’t too much dealing with traffic. Still, close enough to the real thing to say I’ve done it!

I get something off my chest:

I make my first Instagram post. In retrospect, I don’t know if more social media was called for, but it’s fun to express myself visually. (Or more accurately, commenting on things that visually amuse me.) It’s also the social media that doesn’t seem to be a terrible hellscape. So there’s that.  For anyone so inclined: https://www.instagram.com/dan.hershfield/

I email Larry about this article about referential behavior in dogs. Well, he must have shown it to Marty, because suddenly, it seems to be all he can do!: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10071-018-1181-3

Evan’s bachelor party. Even if I never do another nice thing for him in his life, I’m still the best brother of all time. It’s Archer-themed, and I even request a very special favor from a wonderful old friend to sell it. The idea is that Evan had to be Archer for the day, so we had a lesson and learned to play lacrosse…

We got dressed up, me as Krieger, Larry as Bilbo…

Then the gentlemen had a dinner in a private room at Pearl Diver (thanks, Peter!)…

Then a karaoke party at the party room at Betty’s!

Okay, that last one took some work to fit thematically. But it got there. And then Evan foiled an assassination attempt by a Nova Scotian Separatist (thanks, Ian!) and was rewarded with a signed picture by Farty Dadams… an inside joke that only three people really understood! So yeah, I’m the best big brother ever.

Then life goes on. Realizing I dropped the ball on picture taking at the bachelor party, I take my best–ever selfie. Well, funniest. To me.

And I make another funny post where I invent an earworm:

And then my last noteworthy event of June (apparently) was a WTTV for the series Wishfart.

July:

I make a post that’s far too popular.

And Marty gets a summer do!

A pretty quiet Fringe year for me. I see: Al Lafrance: I Think I’m Dead; Morro and Jasp: Save the Date (with Stopher, in what is/was a lovely tradition); We’ll Be Better Tomorrow; and Featherweight (starring incredible talents Kat and Amanda). So I didn’t see much, but what I saw was good, so there’s that.

I go to Matt and Erin’s nuptials. After missing the arrival of my new suit by a matter of minutes, I go on a road trip with a brunch of improv types to this destination wedding, and a lovely time is had by all. A ceremony both touching and funny, a great honour to be counted among their friends, and a delightful weekend. (Even with me feeling I have to prove my comedy capabilities from time to time.)

Shortly thereafter, we go to the cottage. I don’t remember much of what happened, but I do know this happened as we were packing up to leave, and it’s the cutest thing ever:

August:

Okay, to be clear, the world falling apart isn’t good for comedy, and even if it was, it wouldn’t be worth it. Even to comedians, because we’re not psychopaths. That said, the “President” being a thoroughly shitty human being led to my most viewed tweet, due to me being retweeted by Edgar Wright! (And then others, including some of note.)

I go to Winnipeg with Larry, with Bobo and Zack visiting at the same time. Standard Winnipeg activities (not in a bad way), and I discover (better late than never) that the Shaftesbury is right next to Assiniboine Park and all its lovely hiking trails. Finally, something to do besides eating, sitting, and car rides! (It was VERY hot… but again, with all the eating, a little sweat was probably a good idea!)

I return, and Brad from work has his wedding. Or reception, I suppose. Either way, first time wearing my new suit out!

September:

I begin my quietest TIFF in years. Just two movies. The first was Greta. Not my favorite, but such is life.

I make a joke on Facebook that appeals to people who read closely and people who don’t read so closely. I feel a little guilty about it… but damn it, it’s funny!

Luckily, it wasn’t a purely arbitrary day, so I won’t mind doing it every year. Which I guess I have to now!

The next day (the 9^th), I see If Beale Street Could Talk. Definitely my favorite of the two, and about as good a Q&A as you could hope for. (It made the news!) I think I’m pretty much over TIFF, but it is a bit of a nice family ritual.

Speaking of which, Rosh Hashanah at Shelley and Cindy’s this year. Good times had by all.

Shortly thereafter, I get a pink bass. It’s mostly so I can have one for home and one for the office, where Food Trucks jam… but it’s still very punk.

Pete takes a couple of us out for a spin on his boat. I get strangely close to motion sickness (as in I felt it but nothing came out of me) and then we had hot dogs at the RCYC. Queasiness notwithstanding, a lovely time that also feels like proper taking advantage of the city we live in.

I make a funny joke at work and then decide I want to share it with the world:

I go hardcore on JFL42. Largely with Evan and Jen. It turns out that its credit system basically encourages you to see countless shows, so between being cheap and inspired, I see a ton.

Fairly early on, I make this observation…

… but it’s still a lot of laughs. (And admittedly, a lot of mental acknowledgment that things are funny without actually laughing.) Here’s who I saw:

• Theo Von
• Rapp Battlez
• Donnell Rawlings
• Margaret Cho
• Neal Brennan
• Seth Meyers
• Moses Storm & Jo Firestone
• Talking with Canadian TV Comedy Writers: Monica Heisey w. Kevin White, Anita Kapila, Garry Campbell & Susan Coyne
• Nathan Macintosh
• Marc Evan Jackson & Paul F. Tompkins (improv)
• Matt Braunger
• Joe Mande
• Adam Pally (Vino Diesel)
• Tony Hinchcliffe
• Ryan Hamilton
• Lil Rel Howery
• Chris Gethard
• Todd Glass

A lot, right? But it’s like homework for funny people… or so I tell myself. Anyway, here’s the one picture we took with someone: the very funny, very friendly Ryan Hamilton.

October:

Another earworm of my own invention!

I don’t entirely remember my mood at the time, but on the 12th, I post this:

Perhaps not coincidentally, I begin volunteering around then at ReadUP. For awhile, at any rate.

A webseries I was an extra in goes live. Admittedly, I volunteered mostly to play basketball… but it was still a thing I did, and I’m in it. If you’ve ever wanted to see me play sports in slow motion (well, SLOWER motion):

Due to someone being too sick to go, I see Andy Zaltzman’s show Right Questions, Wrong Answers. I get there late due to the stupid TTC, so I’m in a bad mood for awhile… but fun show.

John Tory stays the mayor, in the Ford-compromised municipal election. Toronto’s spiral down the plumbing continues apace.

Anyway, here’s a post that probably should’ve been appreciated more:

Our office moves to the Dufferin and Eglinton neighbourhood. Suddenly, I’m a commuter and everything seems harder. But at least I’m getting reading done during my commute…

The month ends with a Halloween party at Ian and Jen’s. For the first time in years, I meet someone at a party and days later, successfully ask them out. Not much comes of it, alas… but good to know that’s still a possibility for Old Dan.

November:

A big month for me online. I get the app Untappd (my beer drinking is nowhere near enough to make it impressive, but hey, it’s fun). I get some Initiative Q cryptocurrency (current value: probably nothing, but it was free, so no harm done. And I get my first Twitter suspension!

I hold out from deleting the tweet for a long time, hoping that I can actually get a letter from someone who works there saying that they think a person exists who’s dumb enough to believe this is real. After about a week, I need my account for work, so I relent. But if you ever have any doubt that Twitter has chosen a side, and it’s the side of the fascists… well, don’t.

Evan and Jen’s wedding and assorted adjacent events). I MC (“yeah, you know me!”) and everyone does very well. I could go on and on, but I think I’ll just remember it as best I can. Here are some pictures (with a focus on me, because if anyone’s actually reading this, I have to assume I’m the one you’re interested in!):

As usual, the Hershfields know how to party.

Moving on… I have an experience that’s pretty well summed up by my post on the subject:

Speaking of nerds who read, shortly thereafter, I have a very Toronto experience. I go downtown to give blood, then have to go to the Reference Library to photocopy pages from a book not in circulation for Larry… and while there, I stumble upon a Susan Orlean lecture. Nifty! (And as you’ll see from today’s OTHER post, I did read her book!)

Around this time, I officially end my volunteering with ReadUP. My commuting time now means I have to go directly from work to it, and even doing that, I was hard-pressed to make it on time. Should really find something else good to do… note to self.

December:

I learn that Bathurst Bowlerama is closing down. The end of an era, etc.

Another year, another holiday party. Though with new owners, it’s a real party. I get far too drunk off the open bar, and (separately) the highlight of the party is a contest where people have to drop toonies into shotglasses from their butt cheeks. All this will probably feel less normal some day.

I make my last really good post of the year (if I do say so myself):

Okay, slightly overwritten, but that idea is solid!

Brad from work has big news. He’s moving on to bigger and better things. The presumption is that I’ll become head writer… and eventually that is the case.  So… that’s a thing that happened.

Then the holidays. I see Dave and other high school folks (we go for Indonesian), Lindsay and Tom, and other people I haven’t seen in too long. I finally check out the Second City revue: a lot of good stuff, especially (if I may say) from my friend Chris Wilson. And then once again New Year’s at Ian and Jen’s.

And that’s the year that was. More or less. (Okay, it’s probably less… but after all this writing, it feels like more!) Thanks for reading this, Future Me!

This blog may have evolved beyond its origins…but it remembers them!

I started this site to share my adventures aboard the NCL Jewel as a member of a Second City Theatrical cast. Well, Second City’s contract with Norwegian recently came to an end, and Second City made a video celebrating it. My appearances in the video come early and late, but hey, watch the whole thing, you might see some famous faces!

(Thanks to the email informing us about the video not being BCCed, I now have several celebrities’ email addresses…and also received a whack of ‘too clever by half’ reply-all messages. Kind of sums up my Second City experience nicely, come to think of it!)

Enjoy!

 

The Second City and NCL from The Second City on Vimeo.

In some ways, this ongoing list of books I’ve read is more of a biography than my accounting of events from my life. It certainly tells basically the same story a lot more efficiently! But a few things I’ve been thinking I should mention.

Most importantly, inclusion is not endorsement. (See “Wicked.” No, seriously. See it. Don’t read it.) If I include a book here, it does mean I’ve finished it…but that’s a pretty low bar for me. At some point, I’ll have to start a Goodreads page and give ALL these books at least a starred review…but for now, feel free to ask. Or read them, and when they’re bad, commiserate with me!

Also, I list these books in the order I read them, but since the timing of some of this reading may be of interest…:

• I read the Carrie Fisher books in the wake of her death. Yes, a bit of nostalgia and sentimentality. But they completely justified the decision.
• Al Franken’s book I read BEFORE the revelations about him came to light. Ironically, I was looking for hope. Serves me right?
• Matthew Weiner’s book I read AFTER the revelation about him…but I’d put it on hold at the library before AND I’d seen his reading for it on THE DAY the revelations came out AND it was so short, I had enough curiosity to power through.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

The books I’ve read since my last post on the subject to the end of 2017:

1. Postcards from the Edge, Carrie Fisher
2. Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work, Chip Heath & Dan Heath
3. The Princess Diarist, Carrie Fisher
4. Rhapsody in Schmaltz: Yiddish Food and Why We Can’t Stop Eating It, Michael Wex
5. When to Rob a Bank…and 131 More Warped Suggestions and Well-Intended Rants, Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
6. The Undoing Project: A Friendship That Changed Our Minds, Michael Lewis
7. The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World, A.J. Jacobs
8. Based on a True Story (A Memoir), Norm Macdonald
9. Lovecraft Country, Matt Ruff
10. The New Rabbi, Stephen Fried
11. Superman: Red Son, Mark Millar
12. The Adventures of Captain Underpants, Dav Pilkey
13. She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, Ian Kerner
14. The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country, Helen Russell
15. Al Franken: Giant of the Senate, Al Franken
16. The Uncollected David Rakoff (including the entire text of Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish), David Rakoff
17. King of the Jews: The Greatest Mob Story Never Told, Nick Tosches
18. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 9, various
19. I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From A Happy Life Without Kids, Jen Kirkman
20. Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck (reread)
21. Committed: The Battle Over Involuntary Care, Dinah Miller, MD & Annette Hanson, MD
22. Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches, John Hodgman
23. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, Esther Perel
24. What Happened, Hillary Rodham Clinton
25. The Horrors: An A to Z of Funny Thoughts on Awful Things, Charles Demers
26. Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood, Trevor Noah
27. Heather, The Totality, Matthew Weiner
28. Indian Horse, Richard Wagamese

Yep. I still don’t think I’ll read all the books I own before I die…but nice to see that I’m chipping away!

 

I’ll admit that sometimes, I do wonder why I keep this blog going. It made sense when it started. I was working on a cruise ship, which meant I was far from home and people were interested in my day-to-day activities. But I’ve been home for nearly a decade. My routine is pretty routine, and anyone who wanted the details could just ask. Which is why I now post basically annually.

2017 has made even this seem questionable. Life goes on, of course, but the ascendancy to high office of the internet’s most infamous troll has made the idea of sharing one’s frivolous life online seem small and possibly insulting. And of course, if the forces of darkness succeed in repealing net neutrality, I imagine this site and many like it will end up in the digital dustbin of history.

Plus this site got hacked, and more than once dealing with tech support, I was very close to just scrapping it altogether. As I write this, the site is once again experiencing difficulties that I hope will be resolved.

So why am I bothering? I like having a record of my life (in broad strokes) that I can look at. And now, it feels in a very small way like standing up to a bully. More important fights need to be fought, of course, but in the meantime, I’m happy to overcome the Merchant of Despair in this small way. Plus, my life still matters to me, and I like writing about it. And maybe, just maybe, somebody’s reading it. Long live the written word!

 

January

It seems only appropriate, given that intro, that I should start my recounting of the year with a tweet I liked that barely anyone noticed:

 

It’s still sad, but how much could that family have really loved that dog if they named him Old Yeller?!?

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) January 5, 2017

Right?

Later came Second City’s Festivus party. I should probably stop going to these, since I’m pretty sure they’re only inviting me by mistake. Maybe the decision will soon be taken out of my hands. But I thought it would be a nice chance to catch up with people. And it was! Plus, free food and swag, which I don’t need as much for survival anymore…but will always take! More on this later…intrigue!!

According to my admittedly spotty records, my first party of the year was at Chris and Laura’s. I’m sure I was terribly awkward but had a lovely time.

I attend a lecture called ‘Hacks, Leaks and Breaches’ at the McLuhan Salon in the Toronto Reference Library. I quite enjoyed it, though I’m not sure it was worth (presumably) being placed on a CSIS watchlist. Ah well…

Trump gets inaugurated. Just so I don’t have to keep dealing with him, I’ll just reference that great speech in Office Space. The one where Ron Livingston explains that since every day is worse than the one before, every day is the worst day of his life. That’s the Trump era.

But to prove my invincibility, a tweet from a few days later:

 

I tried counting sheep to fall asleep, but it just gave me night sweaters.

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) January 24, 2017

 

February

I know it’s a short month…but I must have done more than the one thing I remember! But that one thing was a Japandroids concert, and I bumped into a (relatively) young(er) person (Leigh), so I got to feel cool and “with it.” It was also a pretty good show!

 

March (before the trip)

I saw Logan. Which I only mention because Evan got me into an advance screening. Thanks, Honda!

I visit with Andy. Which probably isn’t worth mentioning, because he subsequently moved back to Toronto. But I do like to mention my time with out-of-town guests…

This tweet sets Facebook aflame, with much subsequent debate:

 

One day, I’d like to quit social media, but I’d probably be back in a GIF.

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) March 13, 2017

The CBS website is all fucked up, and I can’t enter my old March Madness pool with all my old Vancouver friends. In retrospect, based on my bracket, that website did me a huge favor.

 

March-April (The trip to Ireland!)

I didn’t know quite what to do with my fortieth birthday. It was too big to ignore, but I absolutely did not want a party. Luckily, I have an indulgent and very loving family, so we sidestepped the issue with a trip I’ve always wanted to take. We went to Ireland! And assuming it might be the last big trip I take for awhile, I couldn’t have picked a better place!

 

Saturday (the 25^th):

The first day was objectively not a bad day, but it was a bit of a worrisome start. Because the trip was my idea, I felt like I was responsible for the itinerary…but I didn’t want to dictate everything. Mom and Dad had gone early, travelling with a guide, as Mom’s vision meant she would have to enjoy the more urban settings while we were mostly planning to visit the pastoral. So they (in consultation with me) had booked hotels in our jumping-off cities, and also gleaned some on-the-ground wisdom, so many of the macro-decisions were made. And I of course wanted Evan and Jen’s input, though I am more skeptical of advice than they seemed to be, my skepticism coming from experience giving travel advice and taking it. When people come to Toronto and ask where they should go, I always blank, and unless they give me particulars, you just end up recommending the most touristy of crap!

Which is my roundabout way of saying our first big stop was one I suspected I wouldn’t like, but Evan was excited about it, so I conceded. Thinking that the second big stop would be for me.

We started our day in Dublin (after an early arrival and check-in) with a hop-on, hop-off bus ride. Not normally the kind of thing I like, and the cheesy jokes did grate (ugh!), but I will admit it’s a good way to see a lot in a hurry and figure out where everything is. We boarded at the St. Stephen’s Green pickup – right near a statue of Oscar Wilde. Ireland!

First stop, the one I wasn’t looking forward to: The Guinness Storehouse. Now, to be clear, I like Guinness, and by the time we got home, I loved it. I drank it every night I was there. But everything I’d read led me to believe the Guinness Storehouse was the Disneyland of Guinness. And that’s exactly what it was. (In fairness to Evan, he probably knew that was exactly it was.) Big crowds, lot of unnecessary noise. Which probably would’ve been okay, but it was also really dark in the museum part, so Mom struggled to get through it. And eventually had to give up, all upset. She insisted I park her somewhere and go through myself, which I did, but not fully enjoying it, given the circumstance. Her worst fears realized, and my guilty conscience activated.

But then we all met up for lunch, and it was pretty good. And as far as an unwanted trip went, it could have been a lot worse.

That said, I was very excited for my next stop: Kilmainham Jail!

Except we couldn’t get in. The last tour was already full. Clearly, I’d needed to do more homework and booked ahead. My goal of a flexible consensus itinerary, biting me in the ass. Thankfully, the very nice people at the front gave the last two tickets for a tour the next day. And we checked out the museum. But overall, first day, kind of a bust.

The night, however, was great. We went to O’Donoghue’s, and heard some fantastic traditional Irish music with wall-to-wall people. Admittedly, the walls weren’t far apart, but still, we were packed tight! Fatigue became a bit of a factor, but it did make it feel, in a way the Guinness Storehouse hadn’t, that we were in another land.

 

Sunday (the 26^th):

After a bit of morning tension among the group over getting moving and then where to go for breakfast, we arrived at Trinity College. Very impressive, with a tour led by a current student that reminded me why we assume people with posh accents are smarter than we are. We continued our tour with a visit to the Book of Kells, where I made a concerted effort to learn history before admitting my limitations and just basking in it. Once I got there, it was pretty overwhelming.

Then Larry and I made it to Kilmainham Jail for our much anticipated tour. And it was worth the wait! I’m not a big picture taker, and I won’t try to recreate the feeling too much, but you could feel the history dripping off the walls. And again, a great tour guide with a passion for his heritage that I relished. Overall, I’m fine with Canadian humility, but hearing a recounting of history with no minced words, and an unabashed take on who the good guys and the bad guys were, was powerful stuff. I heartily recommend it…and yes, book in advance!

For our evening’s entertainment, we started at Mulligan’s, famed for having the best tasting pints in Dublin. Hard to disagree, and I enjoyed the old school feel. But as I was out with Evan and Jen, and we still had our energy, we went looking for a party! It took us a little while to get there, due to some confusion: Jen and Evan were looking for the specific Temple Bar, whereas I thought we were just heading to the area of the same name. So we started our second leg in a fake Temple Bar..but thankfully, we ran into some girls from Sheffield. After introducing Jen to the lady option of putting blackcurrant in your Guinness (not a hit, but good to know), they took us over to the REAL Temple Bar with its packed-to-the-rafters people and rocking band! Good time achieved, and a nice tipsy walk home!

 

Monday (the 27^th):

It’s time for Mom to return to Canada and her beloved dog. I bid a fond (admittedly short-term) farewell to the woman who birthed me almost exactly forty years ago, as I see her and Larry on to the bus to the airport. (Larry, or “Dad”, will meet up us with later that day, in case you were wondering why he didn’t merit a goodbye.)

Evan, Jen and I do a quick walking tour of Dublin in the time that remains before we have to meet Larry at the train station to head to Cork. Highlights include Dublin Castle and Christchurch Cathedral. Then, a hiccup. We can’t figure out the commuter train that’s supposed to take us to the big train station. This causes some panic, but we end up grabbing a taxi, and panic subsides as we realize it’s not actually that far away.

After a train ride that was a combination of scenery staring and nodding off, we arrive in Cork. We don’t have too much of an itinerary, but we do check out St. Fin Barre Cathedral, which is astonishing. Then, in accordance with vacation tradition, the Hershfield men have Chinese food, while Jen, suffering her own forms of withdrawal, goes shopping and hits up McDonald’s.

A little music at the Oliver Plunkett in the evening, but we made it a pretty early night, appropriate to the amount of traveling we’d done and my impending age shift.

 

Tuesday (the 28^th):

I slip quietly into a new age bracket and am no longer part of a valued demographic. Oh well!

We begin the driving portion of our trip, and Evan quickly proves a godsend. His competence has always been something of a genetic miracle, and though it’s always appreciated, here it was an absolute necessity. I can’t imagine doing this trip by tour bus, and it was not easy driving, so once again, very lucky to have gotten a baby brother rather than the puppy I wanted at the time. (And, as I often point out, that puppy would be long dead.)

In early appreciation of Evan’s contribution, we make the other stop he/they insisted on that I wasn’t keen on: Blarney Castle. According to my reading, there were better castles to be seen, and this one would attract a lot of traffic. But of course, I wasn’t (and still am not) so inured to the experience that I would get blasé over the QUALITY of a castle, and we were slightly off-season so it wasn’t too over-run. And yes, when given the opportunity, I kissed the Blarney Stone.

As far as I can determine, my charm level was unaffected. But I suppose that’s really for others to say.

The rest of the day was mostly, as I recall, about reaching our destination in anticipation of a big tomorrow. But we stopped at Glengariff (where I indulged in some Robin Hood fantasizing while running through trees in the rain) and Kenmare (very charming), then arrived in Killarney. I can’t remember where we drank that first night in Killarney, but we drank and heard live music every night, so it was somewhere.

 

Wednesday (the 29^th):

The part of the trip I was most looking forward to. The part where I cross-referenced tour books and knew that I wanted to see it all. This was the day we tackled The Ring of Kerry.

First stop: Killorglin, a very pretty town that also had a nice little reminder of my Irish theatre past. There was a Roche’s Bar, which reminded me that many moons earlier, I had served as an assistant to Dennis Garnhum as he directed Rat in the Skull at the Berkshire Theatre Festival. One of the main characters, played in our production by (future) television’s Phil Burke, was named Roche. Kismet!

Then to the Bog Village at Glenbeigh. (Which we almost missed, but thankfully, there was a helpful man at the side of the road peddling wares). It was a little more museum-y than the living history and nature I was seeking, but no real complaints.

Then the incredible Cahersiveen, with its Cahergal and Leacanabuaile Stone Ring Forts. This blew my mind. Centuries-old forts…and there’s no price for admission, no hoopla…they’re just there! You just have to make a small hike and then you’re free to explore them however you see fit! The honor system at work, and it brought out the kid in me, just running around IN AN ACTUAL FORT!

It was hard to follow that…but Portmagee did boast what years earlier had been declared Ireland’s best urinal! While there, we also enjoyed a quick lunch, then went on a bit of a wild goose chase in search of fossils that smartly (I choose to believe) we quickly averted.

Next, we went to something that wasn’t on my itinerary, but we were suckers for marketing and couldn’t resist the signs advertising “Best Cliffs of Kerry.” That said, we would’ve been suckers not to have been suckers, because they lived up to the hype! Quite breathtaking, and though we may have worn out Larry with our running around, the views and the heights were exhilarating.

We then switched back from nature to history with the Staigue Stone Fort. I feel like we may have all had a bit of a funny “Hmmm…we already saw forts” moment at first, but still, a fort’s a fort!

By then, it was getting dark, and it was hard driving, so we just made for home. That said, we saw Molls Gap and Ladies View a bit on the drive back, so other than stopping to have seen them, we checked off all my must-sees and were all very overwhelmed. Not so overwhelmed we didn’t go drinking later, but a great day all around.

 

Thursday (the 30^th):

I think this day was bound to be a bit of a come-down, as it was following such a highlight and it was somewhat the “remainder of things to do around Killarney” day. But it was still pretty great.

We started with Ross Castle. Between a good tour guide, a good display before entry, and furnishings, I think it was the castle where I got the clearest (still foggy) sense of what living there would have been like.Of all the times I could have been born, the time I was probably worked out pretty well for me.

Then Muckross Abbey, which I loved, as decrepit holy sites always appeal to the romantic in me. Followed by a healthy walk which took us to Muckross House. Not my favorite site, as a manor house is less the history which I was there to see. But interesting nonetheless.

We made a quick stop at Torc Waterfall on the way back. I resisted the urge to sing TLC or compare it to Niagara Falls. It was pretty, but our stop was brief.

As was our stop at Aghadoe Church and Round Tower, and its small cemetery.

The big salvation for this day came at night, as we discovered O’Conner’s, our best bar in Killarney. The band was playing traditional-sounding songs with aplomb (Larry and Evan bought CDs), and I made my version of flirting with locals. Which is pretty much just talking to locals. But at least I did that. Keep hope alive!

 

Friday (the 31^st):

A day that made me believe in the power of marketing. I don’t think anyone would argue that Ring of Kerry sounds more impressive than Dingle Peninsula. Kerry sounds cooler than Dingle (tee hee!), and Ring sounds cooler than Peninsula (Thanks, Tolkien!) But it is definitely must-see!

Highlights of the Dingle Peninsula, i.e. places we went, include Inch (Evan and I ran along the beach!), Dunbeg Fort, Slea Head (with a great view of the Blasket Islands), and the Gallarus Oratory. We ended up in Dingle for lunch, and while the fish place that came most recommended was only open for dinner, we still had some very tasty and fresh Hake and Chips!

It was a late lunch, so our next stop, the Cliffs of Moher, we reached just before dusk. And stayed at well into the night. And also got soaked with more rain than I thought the skies could hold. Sorry, Vancouver, Ireland’s got you beat! Oh, and it was of course spectacularly beautiful.

We got into Galway late, and I’m surprised to find in what’s a party town, we can’t find food! We end up grabbing slices of pizza. Then I have my one moment of party pooping. Larry and I have an early morning tour of the Aran Islands, and Evan and Jen are carrying on to Edinburgh, so we say a quick goodbye. They go off in search of adventure, we go off in search of sleep.

 

Saturday (April 1^st):

As you’ve probably gathered, I tend to be quite picky about tours. So when I heartily endorse the tour Inishmore we got from Michael Faherty, hopefully you’ll take it seriously. He was great AND a local, even pointing out his parents’ farm as we drove by! Very personable, you could tell he loved his home, and for further proof of my sincerity, a link…

http://fahertytours.com/aran-islands.php

 

Our tour started with the Dun Aengus fort and cliffs. I still don’t like taking selfies, or even really taking pictures…but I thought this one might be worth it. I stand by it. Also, I make my way up rocky paths faster than Larry, so I had some time.

 

I bought myself an Aran Islands sweater…not the brand, but a sweater from there that I liked more and was cheaper AND had the maker’s e-mail address on it, which I thought was a nice touch! It’s very green, and I quite like it. I would no longer allow any friend to call me Kosher Cosby (it was a simpler time), but I still like a good sweater!

 

Further stops include Seven Churches and its burial ground, some seal watching, and a stroll along Kilmurvey Beach.

 

Fun bit of trivia for Vancouver theatre types: there is a Canadian on my tour who I think I recognize but can’t place. Later, as I was making a TripAdvisor entry, I see that it’s Kaitlin Williams. Who I’m STILL not sure I actually know, but I must’ve seen her in something…Anyway, small world!

 

Then after a ferry ride and bus ride, we’re back in Galway. It’s not really our town, as it’s something of a drunken party town for youths, but there are cool buskers which makes for good wandering. Larry throws me for a bit of a loop, as I thought we’d agreed to ‘skip dinner’ in favor of snacks, when he suddenly throws me a “Where are we going for dinner?” at around 10. In retrospect, I should have guessed. Luckily, we are directed to McSwiggans, which is actually really tasty and open late. Reality starts to dawn. The trip is nearly over.

 

 

Sunday (the 2^nd):

A travel day. We take the bus from Galway to Dublin, and though it’s not the most scenic route, I still stare out the window, trying to take everything with me. We spend a long time in the airport, though most of it is at leisure, as we breeze through security.

On the flight home, I watch Manchester by the Sea for the first time, and then make a donation to Unicef (keep it classy, Aer Lingus!)

I get home and spend several weeks walking around with Euros in my wallet.

 

April (continued)

It’s an odd thing getting through a month when you suspect that its best day will be its first day. But April turned out to be a pretty interesting month.

I write what may be the world’s greatest tweet.

Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing ‘Hello’ from the other side.

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) April 5, 2017

Passover happens. I don’t remember anything of note happening, but it’s Passover.

I have the most magical reunion of my life.

At some point, for work, I write the phrase “a lady to the manner porn.”

And I redeem my Second City Festivus prize: an Elmline pedicure! In fact, I get there early and do a little spa-ing beforehand. Absolutely something I would never get myself, and would be hard-pressed to get for me and another…but life experience achieved! I’ve had hot wax on my feet, and it wasn’t a sex thing!

 

May

During my weekly basketball game, I make a trash-talking reference to Icarus. What can I say? Someone jumped when they should’ve stayed on the ground!

We do a Mother’s Day brunch. We’re good boys.

I go for drinks with Laura, Ian, Jamie, and Jason. I feel it bears mentioning because it’s an unusual grouping, and I experience an almost unheard of at this point mid-week drunkenness.

Ian from work has a barbecue. It’s not that warm, but I go in a T-shirt because I live around the corner from him and reason that I can always run home for a sweater. The sun sets, it gets cold, but I don’t go get a sweater, because I figure once I leave, I’ll never come back. I share all this so I remember a specific way I’m an idiot.

And there’s a dinner with my high school friends. Which is rarer than it used to be, but always fun.

 

June

A quick reminder/notification that I’m remembering what events transpired by looking through old social media and Outlook appointments. What I’m saying is I’m sure I did all sorts of fun stuff in June that I didn’t write down and thus can’t remember. I’m almost sure there was tennis. But anyway, here are some tweets:

 

Even though they haven’t been a big part of my life, I would still like my funeral to be an escape room.

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) June 5, 2017

 

? I want to know what Trump is. ?
? I want you to Comey! ?

— Dan Hershfield (@DanHershfield) June 9, 2017

 

Topical!

Something I do remember that involved leaving my apartment was going with Jess to see ‘The Adventures of Tom Shadow.’ If you ever get the chance, see it. I don’t think a cast has ever been as talented as performers and as wonderful as people. It’s almost sickening.

Faisal has a surprise party. He seems suitably surprised, and we have a very nice catch-up.

 

July

Ian’s bachelor party! My kind of bachelor party: archery tag (I’m not as good as I imagined I would be, but I last a long time in one showdown), some time-killing, a steak dinner, and speeches so loving that made the groom-to-be sick with embarrassment.

Relevant to this blog, the Second City and Norwegian Cruise Lines contract comes to a close. The ability of this semi-retired improviser to impress up-and-comers gets severely compromised.

Fringe starts. Still feels like I should be performing, but I settle for attending. My first two shows: Caitlin and Eric Are Broken Up and Murder in the Cottonwoods…

Then, in the middle of Fringe, Ian and Jen’s wedding! I am an usher and perform many undoubtedly invaluable usher duties. It is a lovely affair (weird word to describe a wedding?) and they are wonderful and I am delighted for them. I continue to be delighted for them.

Back to Fringe! I see 32 Short Sketches About Bees, Operation SUNshine, Shakespeare’s Ghostbusters, The Seat Next to the King, Peter N’ Christmas Carol, Life Records 2, About Time (by Templeton Philharmonic), and Weaksauce. I wish I did better on the quantity, but no complaints about the quality.

Shortly thereafter, I have the best week of my life.

Shortly after that, I have an It’s a Wonderful Life moment with basketball shorts. Basically, I send out an email saying I’ve forgotten my shorts, and three people bring me spares. I truly am the richest man in town.

My last social engagement of July is a trip to Stratford with the family. Sam and Dan throw a lovely party, where we bask in their loveliness…followed by a lovely brunch the next day, which we follow by going to Twelfth Night. A very nice time…but I still had to make fun of the hotel’s slogan.

 

August

I hurt my thumb playing basketball. It’s a serious bummer.

But I apparently recover enough to buy an acoustic bass guitar! So there’s that…

At a bit of a low ebb emotionally, I have a much needed night out with Ian, Jen, and Jocelyn. There’s grown-up conversation. And some catching up: despite Jocelyn being on my Preferred People list, we don’t actually see each other that much. But mostly, I’ll remember it as a night of riffing and just being funny, which turned out to be exactly what I needed. I don’t know that this will mean anything without context, but when we were riff-mocking Goop, I sad “The human body is 90% holes!” And I felt funny, and that meant, however briefly, that I was going to be okay.  So thanks, gang!

I go see Kat Letwin in VideoCabaret’s Confederation & Riel at Soulpepper. Theater! It’s great, she’s great…we grab drinks after and talk like artists. Again, much needed.

And another nice memory with another nice Kat, this time Janicki. A bunch of us end up on her rooftop drinking wine. A double dose of nice, because she’s a new friend and I’m always amazed when I have those…plus downtown rooftop drinking is the kind of thing us remarkable wits should always be doing!

As summer starts to fade, it’s time to enjoy beer. For Helena’s birthday, several of us end up at Birreira Volo and I try sour beer for the first time. Good to know if I ever find myself in conversation with a hipster. And just because the idea appeals to me, I track down butter tart beers (there were a lot of phone calls, and some serious travelling involved) and share them with friends. Good times.

I swear I wasn’t designing my social calendar alphabetically…but I move on from the Kats to the Kellys. First, a coffee with Kelly Richardson, who I had the pleasure of working with many moons ago. I’m the king of the reunion…and I maintain that royal status with a very nice and overdue brunch with Kelly Zemnickis. Yes, we walked by the scene of a homicide after, but still, a nice brunch. City living!

I attend my first Wolfpack game. We got tickets from work, and while I’m not sure I’ve become enamored enough of rugby that I would go when I was paying for it, I will definitely keep going if it’s free. Very entertaining and a nice time outside.

Speaking of nice times outside: solar eclipse!

Then a trip to the cottage. After much grumbling, the Hershfields finally rented a new cottage. And while it had many things going for it, not a great fit for us. And by us, I mean Marty. But always nice to get in a lake and be together…not necessarily in that order.

 

September

I go camping for the first time in forever. I might want to do it again at some point, but either not in September or in a new sleeping bag, because I was FREEZING! Also, it rained like crazy and the tent leaked and was subsequently thrown out. But someday…maybe…maybe… Either way, always nice to be with friends around a campfire.

My mostly-retirement from improv is interrupted once again by Bad Dog’s alumni week. This time, I do an Improvatron 3000, and though I felt rusty and off-kilter, I still like the people and the role improv has played in my life. Glad to be an alumnus.

I have my quietest TIFF in years. Just three films: The Current War; Professor Marston and the Wonder Women; Downsizing. Nothing that blew my mind, but no duds. C’est la vie!

In one of those weird synchronicities, I do another improv show this month. This time, it’s Matt McCready’s $12 Beer Beer Comedy Show. It was supposed to be a team of people from basketball, which seemed like kind of a fun hook. Of course, by show time, everyone who was supposed to play had dropped out, and it was me and a bunch of very talented randoms. I didn’t do great, and the lights went down while I was waiting with a good blowline, but it was a ton of fun. And watching the second half, for the first time in a long time, I remembered what I loved about improv. Compliment intended.

The crew from work returns to take in a Wolfpack game. Hopefully, it’s something we’ll keep doing in the upcoming season.

I pick up a hookah from Jan. I have yet to use it, but I mention it now so that I’ll remember to have a hookah party at some point soon.

Rosh Hashanah! This year, we do it in a party room. An embarrassing admission, but I finally realize that I should be chipping in. I know, I know…but you get into a habit where you’ve been doing something for your whole life, and because it’s your parents and their generation who host, you still think of yourself as one of the kids. Especially since you know you’ll never have a house and therefore will never host. But all the more reason to chip in, I figure…Oy. Adulthood.

To cancel that out, I play D & D for the first time. I get a little frustrated doing new things, and I made my character a little too broody…but it’s got potential for fun, and it’s a good group. Likely to be continued.

I’m supposed to meet someone at the Broadview Hotel bar. And when she has to cancel…I decide to go anyway. I bring a notebook so I could do some writing while taking in the view, and I also strike up a conversation with the people at the next table. I don’t know that it’s a turning point for me socially, that I’m now at peace going to places alone that are meant to be gone to as couples or groups… but it didn’t kill me. And that’s something.

And to end the month, I see the Pixies at Massey Hall. It was supposed to be a birthday present for Evan, but he had a wedding out of town. So I go with Sam, which works out nicely, because we don’t get to hang out as much as we used to, and he was one of my earliest concert-going friends. Nice to know there are things you don’t outgrow.

 

October

I go for drinks with Chris Gibbs. Always feels noteworthy to me. I wouldn’t call him my guru, but I do always feel smarter after being with him even though I should by all rights feel stupider. I don’t know if he’s aware he has that gift, but it’s remarkable.

I haveThai food with my family the day before Thanksgiving, and then have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with Faisal and Lucy. So I’m able to be thankful for my two types of family.

I go with Ian to a Writers Talking TV event for Kim’s Convenience. In my conversation with Ian after, I am hit with an idea that I still haven’t developed, but I do like pinpointing moments of inspiration.

I have a Second City writing program meeting where one of the other attendees is Paul Bellini. Real me is cool about it, but high school me is slightly giddy.

Helena throws an Enchantment Under The Sea birthday party for Jason.  I would elaborate, but that’s a pretty solid sentence in its own right.

I do another Fireside Tales. For this one, I opened and Scott Thompson closed. Of course, it was a story I was telling for the first time that wasn’t remotely funny AND Rhiannon wasn’t there, so I felt odd about the whole thing. But the detail that I opened and Scott Thompson closed is something I imagine I’ll be dropping into conversations for the rest of my life.

And I have one of my State of the Union coffees with Jess. I imagine these may happen more often, but there’s something very enjoyable about having A LOT to catch up on.

 

November

I make my first ever attempt at NaNoWriMo. National Novel-Writing Month, for the uninitiated. I make it to a little under thirty thousand words, well below the standard benchmark of fifty thousand…but not bad considering I spend my day WRITING OTHER THINGS! And I’m still plugging away on the project, so maybe it’ll be something yet!

I go to my first Pizza Night at the gym. I just love that that’s a thing.

I attend a book reading by Matthew Weiner with Andy. My favorite part is the hanging out with Andy. Though credit to Weiner: there’s something fascinating about seeing someone so thoroughly convinced of his own genius. Plus his sexual harassment allegations had JUST come out (I learned about them from Keri near literally on our way into the theater), so that put some excitement in the air.

Danielle visits Toronto, which is celebrated in traditional Hershfield fashion with a trip for Chinese food. Ali also joins us and it is a lovely night all around. When the hell did we all grow up?!

I go to see an A.J. Jacobs talk with Larry. I still haven’t read the book, and I almost feel like I don’t have to now…but I still will, no doubt. Ah, the Hershfields…so sophisticated…

I go for drinks with Humber people. It’s fun, and for the first time in awhile, it doesn’t feel like all shop talk. I mean, some, but nothing I can’t keep up with. Anyway, good folks…which is pretty much what I have to show for that year!

And then a trip to Winnipeg to celebrate Vera’s 95^th birthday! There’s a Rae and Jerry’s dinner, there’s a Chinese food dinner, there’s plenty of Jeanne’s cakes, and much more eating. Including dim sum…and den some! I have no idea what a day-to-day life in Winnipeg would feel like…and I’m not TOO sorrowful not to know…but there is some part of it that will always feel a bit like home. A home where I do nothing but eat.

 

December

I enjoy another Cape Breton Christmas. The Spock socks I brought were much in demand during the sock swap, and the people are great. That said, there’s something about me that always suspects the people who LEAVE Cape Breton are the ones who would like me and the ones who stay decidedly would not! I guess it all worked out for the best!

I go to see the Last Jedi with Ian, Jason, and Pete Hill. We all like it and, last I checked, continue to like it. The idea of being angry about it either way mystifies me.

We have our Naked News Christmas party. Like most office parties, I assume, except management contributed nothing and you aren’t remotely surprised when people expose themselves. We don’t always go out, but when we do, good times are had.

Tom and Lindsay have me and Jamie (separately) over for nogs and ciders, and then a few days later, following a basketball game, I meet up with them and Ian and Jen at Dave’s (the bar, not the place of a person named Dave.) It wasn’t my most social of holidays, but I saw these people AND my high school friends (including an actual person named Dave), so many important boxes checked.

I wasn’t too motivated to go out on New Year’s this year. I’m not a big party guy at the best of times, and this year, I was missing someone specific rather than missing someone generally. And that’s tougher. So I decided to spend my New Year’s with a small act of charity that was really mostly for me: I hung out with my parents’ dog Marty while they were out celebrating. I feel like Marty didn’t appreciate the significance of this gesture and was somewhat confused when I kissed him at midnight. (No tongue.) And that was the end of 2017.

 

 

Quite the year. Next year in Jerusalem, next year may it not be treated by America as the capital of Israel because the asshole president who suggested it is in jail.

As you can see, despite everything, I’m still capable of optimism.

 

 

A curator’s work is never done! I’m still compiling my list of books I read pre-blog (not all of them, but a selection of the ones that matter), but since I’ve recently posted, I thought I should probably do the no-brainer task of adding the books I’ve read since the last time I added the books I’ve read! (Speaking of no-brainers, this is also proof I’ve read more books in the last couple years than the current POTUS has in his lifetime!) Enjoy!

1. Lizz Free or Die, Lizz Winstead
2. Masters of Sex: The Life and Times of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the Couple Who Taught America How to Love, Thomas Maier
3. Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today’s Top Comedy Writers, Mike Sacks
4. Hollywood Said NO!: Orphaned Film Scripts, Bastard Scenes, and Abandoned Darlings from the Creators of Mr. Show, Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, with Brian Posehn
5. The Gun Seller, Hugh Laurie
6. UNorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots, Deborah Feldman
7. Wired: The Short Life & Fast Times of John Belushi, Bob Woodward
8. Science…for HER!, Megan Amram
9. Yes Please, Amy Poehler
10. Will in the World: How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare, Stephen Greenblatt
11. So, Anyway…, John Cleese
12. Spoiled Brats, Simon Rich
13. So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, Jon Ronson
14. I Must Say: My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend, Martin Short
15. 11/22/63, Stephen King
16. Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, Doris Kearns Goodwin
17. Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & the Prison of Belief, Lawrence Wright
18. Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Attachment and Isolation, Adam Resnick
19. A Load of Hooey, Bob Odenkirk
20. Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, Alison Bechdel
21. Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy, Judd Apatow
22. Show Me A Hero: A Tale of Murder, Suicide, Race, and Redemption, Lisa Belkin
23. The Years of Lyndon Johnson: The Passage of Power, Robert A. Caro
24. The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game, Michael Lewis
25. The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, A.J. Jacobs
26. Let’s Start a Riot: How a Young Drunk Punk Became a Hollywood Dad, Bruce McCulloch
27. Modern Romance, Aziz Ansari (with Eric Klinenberg)
28. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, Gregory Maguire
29. Why Not Me?, Mindy Kaling
30. Rolling Nowhere: Riding the Rails with America’s Hoboes, Ted Conover
31. The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny, Peter McGraw and Joel Warner
32. Half Empty, David Rakoff
33. Lafayette in the Somewhat United States, Sarah Vowell
34. The Orchid Thief, Susan Orlean
35. Ghost in the Wires: My Adventures as the World’s Most Wanted Hacker, Kevin Mitnick
36. The Wealthy Barber Returns, David Chilton
37. Rivethead: Tales From The Assembly Line, Ben Hamper
38. The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment, A.J. Jacobs
39. Farewell, My Lovely, Raymond Chandler
40. The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories, Marina Keegan
41. Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama, Alison Bechdel
42. The Story of Yiddish: How a Mish-Mosh of Languages Saved the Jews, Neal Karlen
43. The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy Schumer
44. The Daily Show (The Book): An Oral History as Told by Jon Stewart, the Correspondents, Staff and Guests, Chris Smith
45. You’ll Grow Out of It, Jessi Klein
46. Thanks for the Money: How to Use My Life Story to Become the Best Joel McHale You Can Be, Joel McHale, Brad Stevens, and Boyd Vico
47. Save the Deli: In Search of Perfect Pastrami, Crusty Rye, and the Heart of Jewish Delicatessen, David Sax
48. You Blew It!: An Awkward Look at the Many Ways In Which You’ve Already Ruined Your Life, Josh Gondelman and Joe Berkowitz
49. Maus: A Survivor’s Tale, Art Spiegelman
50. I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President, Josh Lieb

Wow. I actually didn’t know the list was at exactly 50 when I decided now would be a nice time to post. There’s a nice little bit of synergy!

If you’ve read any of these and want to discuss…there’s a good chance I’ve forgotten them thoroughly, because I feel like I’m like that with books. But let’s try anyway! And if you haven’t, get on it!!